Sadly, we did not have a farewell for Miller.
If you tuned into Station 19 Season 5 Episode 6 expecting some type of sendoff for Miller in the form of other characters learning of his demise, a funeral, or some touching gesture to honor his memory, well, they didn’t deliver any of that.
They talked about him a lot, and we saw Vic, Jack, and Andy processing his loss, but that was about it.
It’s disappointing, you know?
Dean was a character who stole our hearts from Station 19 Season 1 Episode 1. He deserved something much grander and more meaningful than to get hurt by the end of Station 19 Season 5 Episode 5 and get pronounced dead on Grey’s Anatomy Season 18 Episode 5 before the opening credits concluded.
Mourning for Dean got shoved into a chaotic family holiday installment.
Now, the attention will shift to things like Maya deciding to have children with Carina, Travis’ father coming out of the closet, and a custody battle between the Millers and the Bailey-Warren family.
Vic is the one person who got to grieve Dean the most and openly.
She’s broken-hearted, and she’s even walking around with an alarm that alerts her about her heart. We got that montage of everyone by her bedside and checking on her while she processed Dean’s loss and recovered.
It felt like they cheated us of so much, you know?
Interestingly, the show wants to go down the route of exploring how one person can grieve in a myriad of ways.
Diane: You’re punishing yourself for not being in love with him back something your brain knew because you are not dumb. You were afraid of what would happen if it was true.
Vic: Thank you for the pie.
Diane: You guys always feel better when you talk to me. I don’t understand why you fight me on it first.
The godsend that is Diane dropped by the station, and she talked with Vic, which was one of the best scenes of the hour.
Vic admitted that she felt compelled to grieve the same way for Dean that she did for Ripley. She felt awful that when Ripley died, she was joking and light-hearted. And it was probably the series’ way of addressing the complaints by fans that Vic seemed too “okay” when Ripley passed away.
Sure, Station 19. Are we rolling with that? OK.
But this time, she’s sadder and glummer, but that makes her wonder if it reads that she cared about Dean more than Ripley because she’s sadder. Yeah, anyway, Diane’s advice was perfect, as per usual.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and just because she was one way with Ripley didn’t mean she had to be the same for Dean. It also didn’t reflect on her love for either of them.
Of course, love was a factor for her since she harbored some guilt that she didn’t share the same romantic love for Dean that he had for her.
Diane is right; despite what she says, deep down, she had to suspect Dean had feelings for her and was trying to avoid it out of fear that acknowledging them would ruin their friendship.
And because of all of these feelings, she had a hard time facing Pru.
Meanwhile, poor Jack was a powder keg of emotion waiting to explode.
He kept doing anything to distract from the loss of his brother, and weirdly, everyone seemed to be giving him a wide berth of space when what he probably needed was a bit more support.
Ironically, Carina stepped in offered him her words of wisdom as someone who had recently lost her brother, too. And you would never think that Maya’s ex-boyfriend and her wife would have this meaningful connection, but somehow, they’ve fostered a beautiful relationship.
Carina gets Jack, and she knows enough about him to understand that losing Dean is the equivalent of her losing Andrew for Jack. She was the perfect person to talk him through things and remind him that it’s OK to laugh, cry, do whatever he needed to let all the emotions he’s been harboring out.
You know, Jack, I lost my brother, too. And it feels like you can’t get air in your lungs, like nothing will be okay again, like you’ll never feel joy again. So you try to push it down, you try not to feel it, and the awful irony is that, the more you push it down, the longer it stays. So you have to let it out, to cry, to laugh, and to cry again, which is all the same thing, by the way, crying, and laughing, and screaming and dancing, it lets it out of your body, and you need it out of your body because when it comes out, it leaves room for light to come in.
He didn’t respond to her at the moment. He opted to occupy himself poorly, making a Thanksgiving dinner that set off the alarms and caused a series of catastrophes. But then he had a heart-aching moment of release when he went from laughing at Beckett falling because of the sprinkler system to openly weeping.
Even then, only Andy offered a pat on the back in support.
Hopefully, if part of the season will have the station coping with the loss of Dean, the attention won’t only focus on Vic. Jack is one of those characters which the series struggles to give a compelling and consistent storyline. We’ve seen Vic and Andy grieving a great deal throughout this series, Travis, too.
Jack deserves a bit more focus in this regard, as he was the one closest to Dean, and there’s no way Dean’s death won’t impact Jack for the rest of the season.
Andy did that thing where she made it about herself a bit, but at least she’s more self-aware.
Andy is an adult whose father died, and she sees herself in her father’s precious little namesake.
Those moments with Andy and Pru were the sweetest. Andy is so good with kids, and my goodness, Janai Kaylani is the cutest little child ever! Her chubby little cheeks, I just wanted to reach through the screen and kiss them!
Every time she mentioned her father or asked her father’s whereabouts, my heart shattered into pieces.
Andy has this attachment to Pru, and her friendship with Theo is a great development this season. She went off on him about making Dean’s love for Vic about him, but then quickly realized that she was the one who was doing that. And he had space to tell her how unfair it is that his feelings and processing were deemed invalid.
It’s something that carried over to Andy’s moment with Beckett. He, too, felt like he couldn’t spend dinner with the others because of how little he fits in with them. He’s aware that no one wants him there, and it’s making things uncomfortable for him because of his attachment to the place.
But he also seemed to be battling a bit of survivor’s guilt. They lost Dean, and he got injured but survived.
He’s such a lone wolf, but over time, he could it in with the rest of the squad nicely. How long before he and Andy hook up again?
He presented the option again, but she declined. It doesn’t seem like the connection they have is over, though, regardless of her sentiments for Sullivan.
And Travis’ issues with his father and Ben’s over-attached badge bunny storylines both blessedly came to a head.
On the Travis front, they’ve been dragging this thing with his closeted father for way too long, and it was overdue for Paul to come out of the closest and Norah to learn the truth. Unfortunately, no one deserved for it to come out like that.
It’s a complex storyline, and I get that we’re supposed to sympathize with Paul and conclude that Travis should’ve done the same, too, but Paul made it difficult.
You push, and you push, and you push! I’m gay! I’m in love with a man! And my son won’t give me one minute of peace!
Understandably, it’s been hard for him to come to grips with his sexuality and come out of the closet. But a closeted married person carrying on affairs with someone outside of their marriage without their spouse knowing about it requires more nuance.
e’re supposed to show grace to this man because of his sexual identity struggles and acceptance, but it’s been coming at the expense of his lovely wife. How are we supposed to reconcile with this?
At some point, much like Travis, the only thing I felt toward Paul was angry that he kept lying to and stringing his wife along. Her feelings should’ve been valid, too.
Emmett attempted to add some perspective to the situation since he faced something similar, and that reminder does make Travis seem like a hypocrite, but it still didn’t make anything Paul was doing OK.
And poor Nora has been in love with this man for so long that she didn’t want to know the truth and blamed Travis for blowing up their happiness.
She knew things were off since he stopped having sex with her, but he was still her best friend who did all the other stuff they happily have done as a couple for years.
